One of my hetero male friends started bitching at me today. "I had a good date last night, but she might be too clean cut for me." Some girl interjected, "You mean she showed up in a turtleneck?" (As if a turtleneck is awful? It’s only awful if you’re the person wearing it and you’re freaking the fuck out because it’s too close to your neck.) "No, I mean she doesn’t swear or drink."
You want to complain to me about how she may not be date-able because she doesn’t drink (which is odd because you know I don’t) and doesn’t swear?
No, no, no. You don’t complain to someone who has legitimate un-date-able things happen, like the casual mention of a wife. You think you’ve got so much to watch out for when your main concern is what she ingests or her vocabulary? Fuck off and find someone who cares or shares your priorities; I am not that person.
Going on dates with men mostly leads to disappointment. Especially when it’s going well up until the mention that he told his wife he was going out with a beautiful woman.
You know, this is information that would be nice prior to going on a date. This is the third time this shit has happened since living here. I was at least able to avoid the first two because I was able to get the information about them dating/being married to someone through sneaky ways, but this one slipped by me.
Note: The fact I have to sneakily get information about someone’s relationship status makes me sick. I don’t care if you’re unhappy in a relationship or if your partner consents; you at least owe it to me to make my own damned decisions, and I’m not keen on being the Other Woman. Don’t fucking hide this shit from me because I’m more than aware I have to find out before I even agree to anything. (If you are in an unhappy relationship, having someone on the side is the least plausible way to fix that. I also don’t want to be the ‘motivation’ for you to end it. But I don’t want to end up in the drama of having to deal with your partner coming to find me or what have you.)
And then add to this the other four shitty experiences I’ve had with dating here, too (the now-ex-boyfriend who would stop talking to me for weeks because he disagreed with me, the guy who stalked me after ignoring me for over a year because he thought I’d want to get married ASAP, the following-now-ex-boyfriend who had no problem trying to control my future plans and berate me for a difference in opinion, and the guy who absolutely betrayed my trust by deciding no-means-yes).
Unless you’re willing to spend time — as a friend first and foremost — proving that you’re amazing and trustworthy and fun and caring, I quit and refuse. I’m tired of sounding like a fucking Maybelline commercial every time something happens, reminding myself that I’m worth it.
Eight more days left here before I temporarily go home. I am so done with this shit.